


To Save Space Dad

by LilithGloor



Series: How to handle Things™ in space [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (kind of), Acxa & Keith (Voltron) are Siblings, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Canon Divergence is getting stronger, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depressed Keith (Voltron), Fluff, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gen, Getting better slowly, Going on a quest to save Shiro, Krolia feels sorry for leaving Keith behind, Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, Magic, Mutual Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Post-Episode: s02e08 The Blade of Marmora, Season/Series 05 Spoilers, bringing Shiro back to life, dissociating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-04-26 00:20:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14390166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithGloor/pseuds/LilithGloor
Summary: When Krolia hears of Keith's depression, she is understandably upset and wants to try to help her son. But she's also aware that her sudden appearance out of nowhere would probably cause more trouble than it would solve. So she embarks on a mission to save a person who she knows means a lot to her son-the leader of Voltron, Shiro.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You can read this one first if you really want to, but I'd suggest reading the first in the series first, it will make a lot more sense.
> 
> What you can expect: Updates whenever I get to them, which is not that often and not scheduled at all, I'm sorry.

Krolia stood frozen while listening to Miji explain what depression was.  
But she knew, she had been to earth and _knew_ what it meant for a human to be depressed. And what could cause it.

Staring at the screen in front of her without seeing it she couldn't help but blame herself. She was sure she wasn't the sole cause, but she knew just as well that she must have played a part in it. Or rather her absence.

"Krolia?" Miji brought her out of her thoughts. "I know it's hard to believe that humans can survive such a thing but-"

"Oh, no, I know the things the human mind is capable of. Did you know that despite not having a collective memory it can happen that a large percentage of the population remembers something wrong in the same way? They call it the Mandela effect because most people remembered hearing about this guy called Mandela dying when he was actually still alive. The human mind is quite incredible. They can-"

"Krolia!" Miji interrupted her. "Are you okay?"

Krolia blinked at her, realising now that it was kind of hard to see through the tears gathered in her eyes. "I hurt my cub," she whispered, "I thought I was protecting him but my absence hurt him. Worse than I thought it would. Maybe worse than my presence would have."

Miji barely heard the last sentence. She put a hand on Krolia's shoulder. "You couldn't have known."

Krolia shook her head violently. "No, that's the problem. I did. I knew what it means for a human child to be left behind. But I thought I would do more damage by staying. But now he's in space with depression and probably some other issues that weren't diagnosed, or he doesn't even know aren't normal. Fighting the empire in a robot cat!"

"I don't think you were wrong in leaving. What if the empire had found you and earth? Earth wouldn't exist anymore, your family and millions of humans would be dead, and the blue lion would be in Zarkon's possession." Miji stroke through her fur tenderly.

Krolia hummed and turned back to the screens. "I need to think. Alone."

Miji sighed. "Okay. But don't do anything rash."

Krolia smirked.

Miji laughed. "Okay, okay, don't do anything rash without me."

Krolia smiled a smile that could sometimes be seen on Keith's face, too. "Sure."

Miji stroke through Krolia's fur one more time before leaving the room. Krolia tapped around on the screen aimlessly, her task from before forgotten.

She had to find a way to help her son, but she didn't think she could do it directly. He didn't remember her, and her arrival would probably just further complicate things for him. She didn't want to burden him any more than necessary.

Then her fingers stilled once more when she remembered another piece of information. Shiro, the leader of the Paladins, was missing. The one she'd been told had been with Keith when he first came to the blade. During the fight in which they hurt Zarkon quite badly, he'd simply disappeared.

With renewed purpose, Krolia started her typing up again.

***

"... so, what do you think? Is this possible? Can we pull this off?" Krolia looked at Miji who was studying the holograms Krolia showed her.

"Hm." She was frowning and seemingly thinking very hard. "Well, if anyone can it'd be you. But it's risky. She _is_ a witch."

"But is she suspecting Galra to spy on her? For someone to suspect she's responsible for Shiro's disappearance?"

"Only reasons why I'm even thinking of letting you do this." Miji scratched her ear. "How are you going to convince Kolivan, though?"

Krolia looked away sheepishly.

Miji raised her eyebrows. "You weren't planning on it."

Krolia shook her head. "No, it's private business. I'll just tell them I'm unavailable for blade business for some time."

"You know they won't like that. And if you get their permission, you have the blade's resources. Much better chances."

Krolia pouted. "But if they disapprove I can't even try it. And they probably won't approve."

"A sign that you probably shouldn't do it."

"I shouldn't do it with the backing of the Blade because if I fail, that could have dire consequences. If I do it solo and fail, nothing should happen to the Blade."

Miji frowned. "You still have quite a lot of information on the Blade. If you get captured, they could use you for information."

"You know I'd rather die than betray the Blade." Krolia held Miji's gaze.

"Even if you couldn't help your son if you die?"

Krolia nodded. "Of course. I would give up any chance of helping him or even just meeting him again if it meant keeping the secrets of the Blade."

Miji looked at her with narrow eyes for a moment. Then she nodded. "Okay. But you're not doing it alone."

Krolia was about to protest, but Miji interrupted her.

"I'm coming with you. I'm not letting you go on a possible suicide mission without me."

A smile spread across Krolia's face. "Let's do this, then."


	2. Chapter 2

"And give Keith my greetings," Kolivan said while stepping into the ship to take them to the nearest Blade base before their diplomatic dinner.

"Will do!" Lance waved, and the doors of the ship slid closed.

Together, Lance and Hunk made their way to meet the rest of their team.

"Do you think Keith will even be able to attend the meeting?" Hunk asked.

"He'll probably force himself if he has to," Lance said, "he knows how important this meeting is and he'll put up a front. He's strong, he'll get through." 

Lance was half trying to convince himself because while Keith was on antidepressants again, that didn't work miracles either. And now that they actually paid attention and he told them, and especially Lance, how he was really feeling, they started to wonder how he did anything. Shiro's absence was wearing him down, and it seemed like every other day that he stopped believing in himself and he was absolutely hopeless just thinking about fighting the Empire.

Keith wasn't with the others while Hunk and Lance filled them in but Lance only dared to ask when Allura declared the meeting over. "Where's Keith?"

"He was looking for Shiro but didn't find anything," Coran said, "I talked to him, and he agreed to come back. Red is in the castle, but I haven't seen Keith yet. I'm never sure whether he wants to be left alone or needs company."

"Neither am I. I'll go look for him anyway." Lance got up, waved to his team and headed for Keith's room.

Keith was neither there, nor in the training room, he hadn't been there nearly as much as he used to, so Lance went to his last confirmed location; the Red lion.

He found Keith curled up in the pilot's seat. "Is that comfortable?" He cautiously sat down on the floor in front of Keith.

Keith opened his purple eyes that never failed to draw Lance's gaze. "Yeah. Red's warm and cosy. Feels like home. Like a safe space."

"Well, she keeps you safe in space so..."

Keith snorted. "Yes, she does." One if his hands dropped from where they'd rested under his head.

Lance reached out for Keith's hand started playing with his fingers. "So, we've got a diplomatic dinner tonight."

Keith cursed. "I forgot that's happening."

"Which is why I'm reminding you," Lance said.

Keith hummed. "Do I have to dress up or anything?"

"Just paladin armour," Lance said, "it'll be some leaders of different planets, Kolivan and us. Kolivan sends their greetings, by the way."

Keith hummed again. "How did your mission go?"

"Quite successful. We had no problem overpowering the Galra, it feels like they're losing all kind of structure they had under Zarkon. So the people are free and ready to fight alongside Voltron, but uhm"- Lance did some quick thinking but decided Keith needed to know -"the Blade members weren't exactly received with a lot of joy. It's hard for the people to see past them being Galra. I hope we can change that soon."

Keith let that go through his head for a moment. "Do you think it would help if I spoke more often about being part Galra in front of people who idolise Voltron?"

Lance took a deep breath. "If I'm honest, I think it would cause more strain than gain. You don't deal exactly well with, well, racism is what this is. I don't think you should hide it either, but there's no need to shout it from the rooftops. We can save that for when you're more mentally... resilient?"

Keith was silent long enough that Lance started to worry he'd said the wrong thing. Then he sighed. "Yes, you're right. I don't have the energy to deal with that shit right now." He closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm not sure if I remember wrong, but I think last time I went on antidepressants it got better so much faster."

"Maybe last time you only knew the low, so when you got even a little out of it, it was a big deal. You saw the progress you made. Now you know how high you can get and you're not there yet. You only see what you have left to go," Lance said.

"You don't get enough credit for your brain," Keith said. "It's just frustrating not to be able to do stuff when I don't even have enough energy to be frustrated."

Lance closed his fingers around Keith's with a small smile. "Since Zarkon's maybe death the Empire is a mess. The things we need to get done, can, if needed, be done by three lions. So if you can't do something, it's not a life or death situation. What we need from you is for you to take care of yourself, ask for assistance if you can't and get better so that if the Empire regains some structure or Zarkon comes back, we'll be ready to face that with all that we've got."

Keith hummed. "I think I can do that."

"Good." Lance smiled and started to get up. "Can you do a diplomatic dinner, too?"

"I... yes, I can."

"Good. Then you need a shower."

Keith cursed. "You're right.

"Of course, I am."

Together they left Red and walked in the direction of their rooms.

"Hey, uh, do you know what dissociation means?" Keith asked when they were nearly at his room.

"Yeah. Mostly the kind that comes with hyperfocus where I can forget everything but the thing I'm focusing on," Lance said. "Why? Are you dissociating?"

"Maybe? I haven't in a while but... I'm not sure how... here I am. If I dissociate completely, can you, like, get me out of the situation, stimulate my senses, like saying my name or touching me, and keep me grounded in the present?" Keith rubbed his arm and avoided looking at Lance directly.

Lance was filled with warmth at the thought that somehow he had managed to gain Keith's trust, something he knew wasn't given out easily. "Of course. I'll be there for you."

Keith stopped at his door. "Thank you." He gave Lance a quick and slightly stiff hug and then disappeared into his room.

Lance smiled at the closed door like an idiot and then went to his own room. He chastised his heart for the somersault it had done when Keith hugged him. He was not about to betray Keith's trust by imagining how he could touch Keith when he wasn't dissociating.


	3. Chapter 3

Krolia's fingers were speeding over the keypad. She hooked her device up to it and transferred the data she needed. "Okay, let's go."

Miji lead the way as the two women made their way towards the ship they had boarded the Galra cruiser with. She was an expert on stealth so they made it without a problem.

Once they had flown the ship out of reach of cruiser Miji huffed. "The empire is really slacking. I guess they counted on Zarkon too much."

Krolia hummed in agreement though she was distracted by the numbers on her device. "I think the witch is in Zarkon's ship but has regular contact with a cruiser farther off. Should we check that one out first."

"Yes." Miji nodded. "We might gain more insight into what she's doing and, if we're really lucky, we might be able to avoid her completely."

"Sounds good." Krolia handed Miji the coordinates, and they changed course for that cruiser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short. The next one will be longer.


	4. Chapter 4

They had eaten nearly all of Hunk's food when Lance noticed how Keith's eyes wouldn't focus and he wasn't even following the conversation anymore.

Lance put a hand on his arm. "Keith?"

Keith turned to look at him but still had a far-off look in his eyes.

Lance got up and grabbed Keith's hand. "I'm sorry, please excuse us for a moment. Or a bit longer than that."

He pulled Keith who followed easily out of the room while the Paladins and Kolivan sent worried glances after them.

"Keith, are you with me?" Lance asked.

"Yes? I'm... kinda." Keith frowned.

Lance squeezed his hand. "Good. We're in space if you were wondering if that's true. It is."

Keith chuckled.

"We just left a diplomatic dinner. And now"- the door slid open -"we're in the kitchen."

"What are we doing in the kitchen?" Keith asked.

"Getting drinks." Lance gathered the ingredients he needed and set them on the counter. Then he remembered what he'd grabbed from his night table when it caught his eye and got it from his pocket. He held the fidget toy he'd taken with him from earth out for Keith. "I thought that might help."

Keith took it. "Thank you." He leaned against the counter as he twisted it in his hands.

"No problem. Lemon and ginger?" Lance held them up.

Keith nodded, so Lance cut them and threw them into a water bottle.

"Okay." He grabbed the bottle and Keith's hand and headed for Keith's room. "You downloaded some movies while we were on earth, right? How about we watch one of those?"

Keith nodded. "Okay."

They ended up on Keith's bed with his tablet leaning against a few pillows, huddled to each other under a blanket.

Lance wasn't really paying attention to the movie, though. He was more focused on the fact that he was playing with Keith's hair and he wasn't protesting.

A knock interrupted them. Lance paused the movie and after a nod from Keith went to open the door.

Kolivan stood on the other side. "Keith? Do you mind if we talk for a moment?"

Keith nodded from where he was still under the blanket. He looked vulnerable, too weak to hide it like he usually did.

Kolivan sat down at the end of the bed. "How are you?"

Keith shrugged. "Right now I'm dissociating. That's..." He trailed off and looked at Lance.

"It's when our mind wants to protect us by shutting out reality. It creates a disconnect, blocks out things. We don't feel pain or anything really, we don't notice things around us. It feels like our minds are trapped somewhere outside, and we're spectators in our own lives." I explained to the best of my abilities.

Keith nodded. "Yeah, that. So at the moment." He shrugged. "I don't really feel much of anything. It will take some more time for me to get functioning again."

Kolivan nodded. "I hope you do and I want you to know that the Blade will do anything to support you. If you need information on Galra the Alteans don't have if you need medical attention if you need something to keep you busy if you need someone to keep you company, we're here for you. We still don't really know what depression is, we suspect it's not something our minds could handle, but if you can communicate that you need something from us, we're ready to help you in any way. You are a Blade member, and we look out for each other."

A small smile crept onto Keith's face. "Thank you."

"Okay." Kolivan got up. "Lance is taking good care of you?"

Keith nodded. "Yeah, he's great."

Lance beamed and sat down again to sling an arm around Keith's shoulders.

Kolvan nodded. "Good. Goodbye?"

Keith waved half-heartedly, and Kolivan left the room.

"You are great, you know," Keith said and leaned his head against Lance's shoulder.

Lance's heart jumped into his throat. "That's good to hear. You're doing great, too."

Keith snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Hey, a month ago, would you have thought you'd come to me and ask me to help you in case you dissociated?"

"No."

"Right. But today, you recognised that you might need help, and you got yourself that help. That's pretty amazing. You're getting out of bed every morning, you look presentable every day, you complete all the social calls you need to and, most importantly, you're taking care of yourself. Of course, it takes time. It's depression, not a papercut, and antidepressants aren't magic. But you're getting better, and you'll continue to get better."

Keith buried his face in Lance's neck with his arms wrapped around him. Lance felt a few tears landing on his skin and heard Keith whispering, "thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this took longer than I intended because I've been quite busy lately and had to dedicate all of my writing to an original project I'm doing for school. Unfortunately, this isn't going to change. I will be busy with that until October. So, I will have to put this story on hold because it's stressing me out that I can't put out content regularly. It probably won't be October until I update, but I won't have the pressure to do it as soon as possible.  
> I hope you understand and if you really like this story, please stay tuned, I won't abandon it completely.  
> We are getting the new season of Voltron soon, so we can all look forward to that.  
> I hope you understand, see you.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wrote something again. I watched Season 7, and I liked some things and didn't like other things. I'm going to ignore the things I didn't like, as should be obvious from this chapter. Enjoy.

Krolia stared at the body suspended in a kind of tank in front of her. "It's that really him?"

Miji pulled up the Blade's file on Shiro. "Yup."

"He looks pretty dead," Krolia said. 

Miji hummed in agreement.

"That's gonna be a problem."

Before Krolia could even finish her sentence, the door slid open. Miji dove for cover, muttering about how she had installed sensors, hadn't she? But Krolia recognised the newcomer. "Acxa!"

Acxa stepped in to let the door close. "Fancy meeting you here." Her gaze wandered to Shiro's body in the tank. "Is he dead?"

Krolia shrugged. "We don't know yet. Miji, come out, she's not going to hurt you. Probably."

"What good would it do me?" Acxa asked.

Miji came back out from behind the table. "Aren't you one of Prince Lotor's generals?"

"Yes, he wanted me to find out what Haggar is doing with the Black Paladin." She stood next to Krolia and activated the control panel. "Hm, that's weird. He's dead put not."

Krolia groaned. "Yay."

"Uh, how do you two know each other?" Miji asked.

Krolia bit her lip. "I fall in love easily, I'm not super good at making sure I don't get pregnant, and I'm even worse at being there for my children."

Acxa snorted. "I had to come to find you when I was 20 after my father's planet was destroyed and Lotor took me in."

"Yeah, that," Krolia said with a wince, "her father and I didn't part on good terms, and I thought it would be better to leave her with him since I was with the Blade. Then a lot happened, and I didn't even hear their planet had been targeted, I thought it was too far out. And when I did hear, she was already looking for me."

"Right, I didn't find her all by myself, you wanted to be found. But anyway, we talked. I understand some things, can't accept others, so that's where we're at."

Miji looked between the two women in front of her. "You're on opposite sides of a war."

"I'm not loyal to the empire, I'm loyal to Lotor. Big difference. But in some aspects, sure." Acxa disconnected her device from the tank's control, having downloaded all the data on it.

She and Krolia moved on to talking about the possibility of Haggar being Lotor's mother and what Acxa had found out about it while Miji just stared at them, deep in thought.

"What I don't get," she finally said, getting the other two women's attention, "is how in your professional life you're able to commit to missions that take years to complete, but you can't even commit to staying around to watch your own children grow up."

Krolia grimaced. "I know it's messed up. I guess... I guess I'm afraid I'll do something wrong, that I'll hurt them, that I find reasons to leave because you can't hurt them if you're not there, right? Except that it's not right, the absence of someone, of a mother, can hurt someone just as much. I've been trying to get over that, and I know it's shitty that my children get hurt by me not having my shit together enough to care for them. But hey, at least Acxa doesn't punch me in the face anymore when we see each other. And I'm trying to have a better restart with-"

"Keith, the Red Paladin," Acxa interrupted. "It's him, isn't it? My half-brother is a Paladin of Voltron."

Krolia nodded. "Yes. You've met him?"

"In a Weblum, of all places, yes. Long story." She stepped away from them. "I didn't see you here, and you didn't see me either, okay?"

Krolia nodded. "As always."

"Don't tell any of your friends about me, alright?" Acxa said to Miji, and after a nod from her, she disappeared out the door."

Krolia's rigid exterior feel. "I really messed up with her. "

Miji contemplated lying for a moment but decided against it. "You really did."

"I just went into it totally wrong. I don't really know what I really expected her to want from more, but I know it wasn't yelling at me, maybe punching me a few times and demanding answers, even though that is exactly what I should have expected." Krolia dragged a tired hand over her face. "I wish I could go back in time and be the mother she and Keith needed. But even if I stayed, I'm a terrible role model, I would have messed them up anyway."

Miji put up a hand. "Now, hang on a second. You might be a terrible role model for handling commitment issues, but you're great at other things. You will never stop fighting for what you believe in, for the freedom of the universe. You have so much love to give, and you might be terrible at communicating that love, seriously, if we hadn't been talking about how she's your daughter, I would have thought you were maybe colleagues who didn't like each other a lot. But you have the love in you. Also, you're extremely street smart, a child could have easily acquired similar skills just by watching you."

Krolia groaned. "If your goal was to make me feel better, you failed."

Miji laughed. "Oh, no. My goal was to make it impossible for you to justify your leaving by saying they would have been worse off if you had stayed. Now, how about we concentrate on our mission so that you can restart your relationship with Keith on a better now than with Acxa? We're also still on an enemy ship, let's keep that in mind."

"Yes, let's do that." Krolia visibly pulled herself together and turned back to the tank. "His vitals look stable, but there's one part missing it's labeled soul, so..."

"I'm not expert, but I don't think humans can live without a soul."

Krolia shook her head. "No. I mean, maybe half of them don't believe in souls, but according to our definition of soul, no, they can't."

"Hm, now wouldn't it be practical if his soul was here somewhere." Miji began to take a closer look at the rest of the room when one of her sensors went off. "Hide!"

Krolia closed the tank's control panel, and they hid deeper inside the room.

The door opened, and they heard footsteps of a Galra soldier, the activation of a control panel and typing on it. "Mission spread soul between black lion and body, still unsuccessful. Why do I even have to check on this, it's not going to work?" the soldier muttered and then left the room again.

After a moment the Blade members came out again.

Krolia walked over to the just vacated panel and activated it. "Brilliant! Shiro's soul is in the Black Lion. They're trying to get part of it to come here and part of it to stay there so they would always know where the Black Lion and with it the Castle and the rest of Voltron are. That's not working. But let's see if I can't get his whole soul to come and then we might be able to get it back into his body."

Miji nodded. "Sounds like a plan. I'll make sure no one comes in."

Krolia put her hand on the seemingly empty container and closed her eyes. It only took a moment and then she found herself in an unknown environment looking straight into the eyes of the Black Paladin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon Divergence is only going to get stronger. I have an idea I really like, but I'm not sure how to make it happen yet. But, as promised, I won't abandon this story.


	6. Chapter 6

The members of team Voltron were gathered in the Black Lion's hangar.

"So, who wants to try first?" Coran asked.

After some fighting over the order, they all entered the Black Lions cockpit, and all came out looking various states of dejected until only Keith was left, who stared up at Black with dread.

Lance squeezed his shoulder. "You can try, I know you can. Just go in there, sit down and see what happens."

Keith closed his eyes and sighed. With hesitant steps, he made his way to the Black Lion and disappeared in its mouth.

He entered the cockpit and stopped there, staring at the pilot seat and the dark screen and controls. His breathing sped up just thinking about the responsibility the leader of Voltron held and his chest got tight. "Shiro," he whispered, "I'm sorry." He backed away. "I can't; I can't right now."

He felt a presence in the back of his mind. It felt a lot like when he connected to Red, so he assumed it was Black. The feelings Keith received were reassuring, and he felt a bit less guilty at rejecting the role as Black Paladin. But at the same time, it was very insistent that, of the people present, Keith was Black's only choice. If he weren't going to fly Black, none of them would.

Keith nodded. "I understand. And again, I'm sorry. But I have to take care of myself first."

Black approved of that.

Keith stepped out and was greeted by the others' waiting gazes. He shook his head. "I can't."

Without another word, he made his way out of the hangar. He didn't want to tell them that Black would accept him. He didn't want to tell them that just thinking about leading them had nearly caused a panic attack. He didn't want to tell them how weak he was.

He returned to his room, curled up under his blanket and let go of the constant pressure he felt when he was around other people. He felt tears fall out of his eyes and he let them. He just felt too tired to do anything but lie there and cry, though even that already felt like it was too much.


	7. Chapter 7

Unbeknownst to Keith, he had two spectators when he entered the Black Lion.

Krolia met Shiro's eyes once more, then turned her gaze to the floor of this weird dreamscape inside the Black Lion.

"He needed you, you know? He needed you to be there for him. But you weren't," Shiro said.

"I know. I thought I could protect him better by leaving. The Empire didn't attack earth, so at least I succeeded in that. But I still wasn't there for him when I should have been."

Shiro nodded. "Yes. You're trying to help him now by getting me back to the rest of team Voltron?"

"Yes." Krolia lifted her eyes again.

"You say my body is intact?"

She nodded.

"Well, even if you're able to return my soul to my body, I don't think I would function right away, I'd be unconscious for a while."

"I've got another Blade member with me, we can handle an unconscious body," she said.

"Okay, I'm constantly being pulled between the Black Lion and my body. You'll have to return to your body and pull my soul with you. If only a small part of me gets left behind, this won't work, but what's going to happen is exactly what they wanted all along. Promise me, that if you can't get my whole soul there, you smash the container, even if that erases my soul. Don't give them a way to track Voltron that easily," Shiro said.

Krolia nodded. "I promise. But just as a warning, I can't do magic."

Shiro smirked. "Don't worry about that; Black has made sure you'll be able to get my soul back to my body." He held his arms out. "Oh, yeah, right, my prosthetic arm-"

"It wasn't on your body," Krolia said.

"Okay, that solves that. I think something was wrong with it anyway. I think the druids who gave me that arm installed something I don't want on there."

Krolia nodded. "Likely. We'll keep it in mind if we find it."

"Good," Shiro said and stretched his arms out a little further, "now, all you have to do, is pull me with you when you go back to your body."

Krolia took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing."

She grabbed Shiro's arms and pulled. At the same time, she gave in to the constant pull her own body had on her. She felt the resistance as she pulled Shiro with her, but she didn't let go until she opened her eyes again. The container in front of her was still empty, but she was glowing.

"Miji," she said, "open the tank."

Miji was quick to comply as Krolia slowly made her way over. She could physically feel, how fragile her hold on Shiro's soul was. She hadn't trained for that; she had no magic. But thanks to the Black Lion, she was able to hold and transport Shiro's soul within her own body.

Every step was careful, no movement uncalculated until she reached the body and put her hands on his chest.

Slowly, the glow came seeping out of her and transferred onto Shiro's body.

She was left without the glow and panting while Shiro's body regained colour as the glow settled within him.

He coughed once and seemed intent on getting up, but fell unconscious again a moment later.

Krolia took out a gun and shot it at the container for the soul, just in case and turned to Miji. "How long was I gone?"

"Too long, we have to get out. Now."

"You didn't happen to find his prosthetic arm?"

Miji shook her head.

"Okay, then let's get out of here."

The two women picked up the unconscious Shiro and expertly made their way out of the ship. Even with a body to carry, the soldiers and sentries were no match for the Blade members.

They made it back to their ship and were off the cruiser without any surprise encounters.

"Where to now?" Miji asked.

"Do we have any idea where the Castle of Lions is?" Krolia asked as she hooked Shiro up to some emergency health monitors to make sure he wasn't going to die on them without them noticing.

"No," Miji said, "but there's a Blade base not far from here. They might know something."

"Then let's head there."

Miji set the course.

After a while of quiet Miji broke it again.

"Hey, we got him. We got him without even meeting the witch."

Krolia looked up with a smile. "Yes. We did."

"Aren't you glad I refused to let you go alone?" Miji threw a smile back at her.

Krolia's smile widened. "Yes, I am."


	8. Chapter 8

Lance hesitated once he reached Keith's room. But Keith had only told him to leave him alone a few times, most of the time Keith wanted his company. He let out a deep sigh and knocked. "Keith? Do you mind if I come in?"

There was no answer, and since the door was unlocked, Lance decided to enter. 

He found Keith curled up in his bed, facing the wall. Carefully, he approached and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Hey buddy, you okay?"

Keith shrugged. 

Lance okay down, too, and spooned Keith. "That's okay."

"I can't. I can't fly Black," Keith muttered.

Lance softly stroked over Keith's arm. "And that's okay, too. Black would have accepted you, right? But you're not ready to lead us. You can't shoulder that responsibility right now, am I right?"

Keith turned around to bury his head in Lance's chest. "Yeah. I can't even make confident decisions for myself. There's no way I could make decisions for the team."

"You don't have to," Lance assured him. "We'll find Shiro, and he'll fly Black again. Don't worry; we'll get there."

Keith nodded and held onto Lance.

Lance adjusted their position so that he was lying on his back and Keith's head was on his chest. Their legs tangled together and arms loosely wrapped around each other. If someone had told Lance maybe a month earlier that Keith was a cuddler, he would have laughed in disbelieve. Yet here he was, cuddling and comforting Keith.

That was how they fell asleep. And if Hunk came into the room later to get them to eat dinner, but walked out again as soon as he saw them, they didn't need to know that.


	9. Chapter 9

"So," Shiro sat down next to Krolia with food and a drink. "You saved me. What's the plan now?"

"We'll get you to the Castle of Lions. We have an approximate location, and even if it's off a bit we can send a distress signal, and we'll find them. I was assured Keith has been taught a few secret Blade codes, too, so we should be fine," Krolia said, pushing her own food around on her plate.

"Sounds like a plan. Does Kolivan know what you were doing?" Shiro flexed the fingers of his new prosthetic arm. It could also function as a weapon and was worth the adjustment period since it was guaranteed to be without traces of druid magic.

"Nope." Miji downed her drink. "This crazy woman over there thought they might not approve of us going after a crazy witch to maybe find a missing person. But hey, we did it without ever meeting the witch, so yay us."

Shiro smiled. "Well, I'm grateful that you did."

"You're welcome," Krolia said, "we should leave soon, are you cleared?"

"Yes, all patched up. Now I just have to adjust to having a body again and this new arm," Shiro said.

"Excellent, then we leave after eating." Krolia finally dug in, too.


	10. Chapter 10

Keith was having a good day. In fact, he hadn't had such a good day in a while. Maybe crying it out had helped.

He was able to do his usual training session without problems and even helped his team help some rebels without putting a strain on himself.

Lance noticed, of course, and was overjoyed. Keith was smiling a real smile and doing things without looking like he'd rather be anywhere else.

So he took the opportunity. After the mission, he made milkshakes for the two of them, and they sat down in a hallway with floor to ceiling windows to look at the passing stars. 

"I feel like I'm not really appreciating stars as much as I used to. So I wanna do it again, help me invent some star signs," he reasoned. 

Keith laughed but looked at the stars with him.

They talked endlessly, and now that Keith had the energy, he also told Lance a lot about himself and his childhood. Things he had only told Shiro or no one at all. But he trusted Lance, and he wanted Lance to know these things about him.

When Keith had the sudden desire to cook Kimbap, they moved to the kitchen and Lance helped out.

Later, when everyone sat around the table enjoying the Kimbap, Keith smiled to himself. He knew it wasn't going to be like this every day, not least because they were fighting a war. But the days that were like this, where he could feel truly happy again, he'd cherish them and use them to get through the bad days.


	11. Chapter 11

"Krolia, have a look at this." Miji held out a screen for Krolia to look at a peculiar signal she had picked up.

Krolia steered the ship off course, towards where the signal was coming from.

"Code?" Miji asked, and Krolia nodded.

Shiro leaned forward. "From who?"

"Acxa," Krolia said, staring straight ahead.

"Who's Acxa?" Shiro asked frowning.

Krolia hesitated a moment. "My daughter."

"Keith has a sister?" Shiro looked positively thrown off his feet.

"Half sister," Krolia said, "I fall in love easily."

Shiro wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"I think it's also relevant to say she's working for Lotor," Miji said.

"Who's that now?" Shiro asked.

"Zarkon's son," Krolia said, and Shiro choked on his spit.

"Zarkon has a son? And your daughter is working for him?" He opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Any other relations I should know about?"

"Acxa and I think Haggar is Lotor's mother, but he doesn't want to hear a word of it," Krolia said.

Shiro was speechless.

"There." She pointed towards a planet and a ship that looked like it had crashed.

Miji sighed. "Let's land and see how much you can't act like mother and daughter."

Krolia didn't respond but landed their ship.

"That was fast," Acxa said. She was leaning against her ship and following their exit with cautious eyes. She showed no reaction at seeing Shiro.

Krolia shrugged. "We were around. Why did you call?"

"I need your help." Still, Acxa's face betrayed no emotions.

"That's the first time you asked me for it. What's big enough to prompt that?" Krolia's face was nearly as still as Acxa's.

Acxa pointed up into the sky. "See that?"

Krolia turned around. "The Quantum Abyss, isn't it? What do you want in there?"

"I don't know yet," Acxa said, "Lotor disappears for a few quintants without explanation every now and then. I found out it's in there. But he refuses to talk about it. So I also found out what comes out of there."

Krolia raised an eyebrow.

"Quintessence," Acxa said, "very pure quintessence. And if someone doesn't want to tell me where all that quintessence comes from, well..."

"You only get more curious," Krolia said.

Acxa nodded. "But going in there alone could be a suicide mission. Especially because I crash landed my ship."

Krolia's eyes widened. "You want me to come with you."

Acxa leaned back with her stone face and nodded decisively.

Krolia looked up at the Quantum Abyss, an area of flashing light on this planet's night sky. It wasn't in the abyss' system, but over time, the star it was rotating would get pulled into the area of unstable energy that warped time and space. She had to decide which of her children to help first. If Acxa was right, helping her could be important for the Blade, too, and would take a few quintants. On the other hand... if she could call Keith to their locations.

"Give me a moment," Krolia said and got back into their ship. It only took a few moments until she had sent the signal.

"A distress signal?" Miji asked from where she was leaning against the doorframe. "You want to call Keith over?"

Krolia nodded. "Let's hope they're close enough. And no other Blade member is, that would be embarrassing."

They went back outside.

"Okay, I'll help you. Do you have any other information?" Krolia said.

Acxa pulled out a device and started explaining some more things about the quintessence and the Quantum Abyss.


	12. Chapter 12

Everyone was out. Pidge was following a hot trail they hoped would lead them to Matt. Lance and Hunk were freeing a planet a few lightyears away. Coran was on a nearby planet looking for some precious material only found close to the Quantum Abyss nearby. Now that he thought about it Allura was probably aboard the castle, but Keith couldn't go to her.

What Keith needed, was comfort and safety. Even though his relationship with Allura had improved, he knew she couldn't give him that. So he was in Red, trying his best to keep his mind occupied with a movie. While Red did a good job at making him feel safe, all the movies he started were boring, and his mind kept drifting into dark territory. He knew it wasn't the movies' fault, it was because his brain had decided to hate him again.

But then Red provided an unusual distraction. He had taught her the Blade of Marmora's secret codes and asked her to look out for them and lo and behold, there it was.

He turned on the comms to call Allura, but she wasn't picking up. She might be busy or ignoring him on purpose, but he couldn't leave a Blade waiting for help.

He recorded a short message for his team, then grabbed his helmet - he already wore his armour since it let him believe he was ready for anything - and took off.

He located the source of the signal on a planet even closer to the Quantum Abyss, where two spaceships had landed, one of them clearly crashed.

As he was landing Red, she zoomed in on one of them and scanned him more in detail. Keith gasped as she confirmed a moment later, that that was indeed Shiro. He had a new arm, but otherwise, it was truly his quasi-older brother.

He had barely landed Red and was already sprinting out of the cockpit.

Shiro had run towards the lion and caught Keith in a hug as he jumped off the lowering ramp. Shiro was still a bit new to being in a body again but somehow managed to catch them both while squeezing the living daylight out of Keith.

They stood there for a while, just rejoicing in their reunion.

Finally, Keith pulled away and asked, "how?"

"I died? I think. My soul was thrown out of my body, which qualifies for dying, I think. But my body was still fine and on some Galra cruiser. My soul stayed in the Black Lion, and they wanted to spread it out between my body and the lion so they could track Voltron easily. But then Krolia came, she's a member of the Blade"- Shiro gestured behind himself to her and hesitated but didn't add anything about her -"and she was able to pull my whole soul out of Black and put me back in my body. And then they got me down from the cruiser and to a Blade base, where I got a new arm, and then we flew here, and she called you."

Keith opened and closed his mouth a few times. "So basically, you looked the burry-your-gays trope in the face and kicked it back into last century."

Shiro laughed. "Sure, let's go with that."

"So why didn't you come straight to the castle?" 

"Acxa," Shiro said as both an explanation and prompt for her to explain.

She waved. "Hi, I'm Acxa, we've met before, in a Weblum."

"Oh, yeah, I remember," Keith said, now a bit cautious.

"I want to investigate something in the Quantum Abyss and need help, so I called them down," Acxa said.

"Okay." Keith's eyes wandered over to Krolia and Miji. "And you're both members of the Blade?"

"Yes, I'm Miji, nice to meet you." Miji waved.

Keith waved back while Krolia walked over to him and Shiro.

"Hi, I'm Krolia," she said and then realised that now that the moment was here, all her plans for how to tell Keith she was his mother evaded her.

In the background, Keith could see Acxa facepalming. "So you know magic? To save Shiro?" he asked.

"I don't actually," Krolia admitted, "that was the Black Lion. But do you know why I wanted to save Shiro so badly?"

Keith frowned. "Because the Blade and Voltron are allies and he's integral to Team Voltron?"

"No. Well, that too, but Kolivan doesn't know about this mission, and I don't think they'd approve either," she said.

"Then why?" Keith asked.

"Because I'm your mother, Keith, and I want to help you. When I heard that you aren't well, I knew I couldn't really help. You don't remember me, what help could I even be? But Shiro is important to you, so I wanted to help in getting him back to you because I want to help you. I left you, and I'm so sorry about that. I promise you that I love you. I know it's a lot for you and although I had time, I still haven't figured out how to really do this," Krolia said.

Keith was just staring at her, mentally comparing himself to his mother.

"You had a test run, too," Acxa said as she walked closer to them. "I'm your half-sister, she's my mother, too," she said to Keith, who couldn't close his mouth at this point, "I grew up without her, too. She was even clumsier when we first met again. I have to admit, she might not do the best job as a mother." She paused and looked at Krolia. "But I can guarantee that she loves both us of very much. She's not very good at showing it, but she does."

Krolia's eyes were wide in surprise. She hadn't expected Acxa to say anything nice about her.

Keith's eyes were jumping from one woman to the other, not equipped to handle meeting his blood family.

"This is a lot," Acxa said, noticing how Keith looked and being able to relate. She looked up to the Quantum Abyss. "Lotor is usually gone for no more than five quintants, and I don't think we'll take much longer. When we come back, we can come to the Castle of Lions. That way, you have some time to get used to the idea of a mother and an older sister, you can think about what questions you want to ask, and you can really make up your mind what you want from us. I am on Lotor's side. For now. But I'm the person who, at least when it comes to family matters, can relate to you the most. If you don't want me to, I won't leave you alone to deal with it."

The decision for this offer had been a spur of the moment thing that, if she thought about it, had built up ever since she had met Keith in the Weblum, but as she said it, Acxa realised that while she had been content avoiding her mother, she wanted to build a relationship with her little brother.

Keith closed his eyes. It was too much at once. Acxa was right, he needed some time to make up his mind and get through the haze of confusion. 

He opened his eyes and nodded. "That sounds good. Will you be able to find us?"

Krolia nodded. "We can definitely get approximate coordinates, and if we can't find the castle, we'll send another distress signal."

Keith nodded again. "Okay, then... see you later?" He took a step back towards the Red Lion.

The two women said goodbye and boarded Krolia and Miji's ship, while Keith and Shiro entered Red. After some short exchanges within the crews, both of them took off in different directions.

"How are you? And be honest," Shiro said.

Keith shrugged. "Mostly confused and overwhelmed right now. Overall, I guess I'm worse than before you left but on the way up again."

"Okay. I was in the Black Lion, but most of the time I wasn't really aware of what happened outside. The only thing that was really clear was when you were in the lion." Shiro's eyes wouldn't leave Keith's face.

"Oh," Keith said, "so you were there."

"Yes. I think it was also why Krolia was able to join me. Because you were there."

Keith's eyes widened. "She was there, too!?"

Shiro put his human hand on Keith's shoulder. "Yeah. And it's okay. You couldn't have been a leader for them, you recognised that and made sure you weren't forced into it. That is a commendable act. Also the act of a potentially very good leader, who puts the team before himself."

Keith snorted. "Well, I'm glad you're back to lead us again."

Shiro's answer was interrupted by a distress signal. The same one Krolia had used to call Keith.

Keith turned the lion around and tried to see the others, but they were already inside the Quantum Abyss, where they disappeared among the celestial bodies.

Keith swore under his breath and directed Red to fly over. Flying at high speed, Red was there in no time.

There were strange, white creatures attacking the damaged ship and the three women outside the ship. A moment later the creatures were no more when Red's laser disintegrated them.

Red scooped up Krolia, Miji, and Acxa in her jaws as Keith did his best to avoid the floating objects and wack gravity.

They stumbled into the cockpit, Krolia the only one uninjured. "I'm sorry, I sent the distress code before even realising you'd be the one to receive it."

"It's okay," Keith said, expertly weaving deeper into the abyss. "Shiro?"

Shiro hesitated for a moment. "They did all right without me so far, I think they can handle a few more days without me," he said, "what about you, Keith?"

Keith shrugged. "Well, I wasn't much help, to be honest. I'm barely keeping it together these days. They'll be okay without me."

"So we're going in?" Shiro looked at Keith, who just nodded and kept flying around the rocks.

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you barely keeping it together?" Acxa asked.

"Depression. Also, flying with me and Red means fast and maybe unexpected flying routes. It's how we roll." Keith let Red roll through space to avoid a cluster of rocks.

"Nice pun. What's depression?" Acxa said.

"It's when our brains fuck up for way longer than they should," Keith said, leaving the real explanation that Acxa might understand to the others as he continued piloting Red.


	13. Chapter 13

Hunk and Lance returned through the wormhole successfully.

"We make a great team," Lance said as they flew back in.

"Best Buddy Team is the best team, am I right?" Hunk landed Yellow, and they made their way towards the lounge.

"Where's Keith?" Lance asked Allura as had become habit.

But instead of replying, as usual, Allura reached for a communicator and replayed a message.

"Uh, hey, I just received a distress signal from a member of the Blade, so I'm going to check that out. It shouldn't take too long, so I'll be back soon. Bye," Keith's voice rang through the communicator.

"Oh." Lance blinked a few times. "Okay. So, any news from Pidge?"

Allura shook her head. "No. I'm guessing it's too dangerous for them to contact us."

"Okay," Lance repeated, looking sort of lost.

"So how was your mission?" Allura asked, and Hunk and Lance did the mission debrief.


End file.
